im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
