id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
