I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
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She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
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Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I had to cum in my sink.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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