I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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