Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i permit you to call me
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Too much gin, very little bucket
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Randomize
