I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Walk of Shame today included voting.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
You have to summon your inner elephant
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
