I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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