took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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