once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
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He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
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I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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