apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
