Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Even my vagina gasped.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Oh god it's open bar.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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