Duck Duck Cougar?
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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