seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
