after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I'm getting married
To pizza
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize