do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
