do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
