So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize