honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
