it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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