sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Is Oprah even human
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize
