He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize