It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize