please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
