And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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