i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
