i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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