you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
