First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
