Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
