I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
