Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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