i think i have herpe
just one?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
