oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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