I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
