you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
