Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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