okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
