she woke up with a sticky ear
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
