One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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