Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
We are all done wearing pants today
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize