Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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