Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Randomize
