Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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