Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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