Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
