"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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