Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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