Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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