Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize