Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
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