Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
is it fun? or sober?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
