therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Randomize
