I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize