saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I just gargled with NyQuil
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
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