I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
