just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Let's get the cat blown out
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
