i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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