well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize