Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
