After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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