i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
