Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
