What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
smell my finger.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
