So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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