don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
There r osticjed everywhere
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
