do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
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He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
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At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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