Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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