wat bout pragnant strippers??
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
