I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
