Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize