Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize