What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
