Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize